Hello. As always, been a while.
Completely left this place for a bit, and been trying to tidy up my emotions.
It has been a hectic few weeks, struggling with so much emotions, feelings, memories, thoughts, and worries.
I apologize for being all negative on my social media platforms, it gives me strength reading some of your emails and tweets, telling me how you've been following me due to the strong and bubbly front I have. I am extremely thankful and honoured to be someone with that image in your eyes, I'm nothing like what you imagine me as, but I'm definitely working towards it, thank you for your nice words and for sticking by.
I don't think I'm ever going to be okay from this, but I know it will get better, and I'm holding on with a positive light, hoping that things will turn out better than what I think, trying so hard to not worry about things leaving me again and again because what's meant to be will be, and what's not meant to be will always find its way away from us... and that's when we need to move on and realise, these things leave so that better things can come.
Sometimes it makes me wonder why we have to go through so many beautiful things, when one day they will all be taken away from us, and that all these things that once felt so perfect can instantly turn into such a nightmare and put us in this agony.
I am so afraid, to let go of something I hold on so dearly to.
But I am more afraid, to destroy something that I see so dearly of.